Just go to sleep cant you!

Most parents can cope with one or two nights with little or broken sleep but after that tempers fray and the situation gets more tense.  It is helpful to know that sleep problems are very common during the first few years of a child's own bed, waking up in the middle of the night, nightmares, sleepwalking and even night terrors.

Children vary according to how much sleep they need and how long they take to fall asleep.  Some children wake very easily and resettle quickly others wake and stay awake for the rest of the night, spending the next day being tired and grumpy.

As a parent, it is important to develop good sleep habits at an early age and the good news is that most sleep problems can be sorted out quite easily.  The most helpful thing you can do to begin with is to work out exactly what the problem is and then try the suggestions below.  Make sure you write down the answers to the questions below so you can look back at them after you have tried out some of the suggestions.  it is also easier to see patterns and links when the information is written down.  If things don't improve after a few weeks, seek help from your GP who can refer you onto a specialist.

What is happening

  • Where soes your child go to sleep and continue sleeping e.g starts off in their bed and ends up in yours!
  • How much sleep does she usually get each night? Record a week at least to see what the pattern is.  Note what time she goes to sleep and what time she wakes and how long for.
  • What time does she go to bed and how long is it before she goes to sleep?
  • Does the child have a bedtme routine, if so what is it?
  • Does your child have a nightime cuddle to help her to fall asleep or does she listen to a tape?
  • What time do you go to bed? - note this on the same sheet as the child's sleeping and waking patterns as there is often a link.
  • Can the child go back to sleep herself or does she need you to tuck her in etc..?
  • What time does she wake in the morning, do you wake her or does she wake herself?
  • Is she still tired in the mornings, does she flag at lunchtime? Does she still sleep in the day?
  • Are there any particular stresses at home or at nursery/school?

Once you can see what is happening and have the information written down it is much easier to work out what to do and to decide if the changes you make are successful.

Establishing good sleep habits

As children get older they tend to need less slepp and they usually sleep for longer when they go to sleep.  However, each child is different but it certainly helps if you can:

  • Stay calm and keep you child calm, particularly if they wake up in the night.  Don't talk to her or turn on the light if you cna help it.  Just settle her back into bed as qucikly as you can.
  • Have a quiet winding down session before bed.  In most families this is bath time or story time.  Try not to play active games with your child just before bedtime and it is often best to avoid TV or videos late at night.
  • Try to have a consistent routine no matter where you are so that if you are staying with friends or away on holiday the routine can go with you ie: a snack, a bath, a story and sleep...
  • Many children are reassured by having a favourite bedtime toy, particularly if they wake up at night.
  • If your child does wake, avoid reading stories or playing as children are good at waking themselves up for treat like this.
  • If your child wakes check the temperature in the room, leave a drink out in a beaker that will not spill if knocked over, check that they are not feverish etc.
  • Don't let children sleep as much during the day if they are waking at night.
  • Encourage tour child to learn how to relax and settle herself to sleep. Rocking children to sleep can make them dependant on you for a long time to come if it become a feature f their regular bedtime routine.

  • Don't race to your child as soon as they wake unless they are really distressed. Give her a few moments to try to settle herself.  You need to encourage your child to turn over and fall asleep on their own.

  • Most toddlers and preschoolers need about 10 to 12 hours sleep.  If your child is having less than that on a consistent basis and seems tired during the day you should seek some advice from your GP or Health Visitor.

Coping with Nightmares

Most children have nightmare, usually about scary monsters and other frightening things.  Often children will seem anxious, fearful, breathe rapidly and even sob hysterically.  it is important to reassure your child that this is just a dream and not real, to give them a cuddle and settle them back to bed with something to cuddle.  Be calm, listen to them if they need to tell you about the nightmare but try to ask them about it.

Most nightmares happen in the early hours of the morning when parents are in a deep sleep.  Try to stay calm and reassuring, even if you feel very irritated as getting cross with a child is only liley to kepp them awake for longer.  Often children will have more nightmares if there is something stressful happening at home, school or nursery.

Does your child talk in their sleep?

Most children talk in their sleep sometime but some children talk very frequently, particularly if they are discturbed when in a deep sleep.  usually the child will talk for just a few seconds then go back to sleep again.  Often what they say does not make sense and their voice can sound quite different, almost as though they are talking in a monotone.

Keeping sleepwalkers safe

Sleeping is quite commo for children aged 5 to 12 years of age.  In fact almost 15% of children that age will sleep walk at sometime.  Interestingly more boys sleep walk than girls, though no one understands why this is.  The most commom time for a child to sleep walk is usually 2 or 3 hours after they have gone to sleep.  Fortunately, that means that most parents are still awake.  You cna be  re-assured that children rarely sleep walk later than this in their sleep cycle.  However, it is important to make sure that you minimise his chance of hurting himself so don't leave things on the stairs etc.

Night Terrors

Night TerrorsThese can be very frightening for children and parents as the child usually sits up, opens their eyes, screams loudly and thrashes about.  Your child might breathe rapidly, his heart may be raciing and you may not be able to comfort him for sometime.  Night Terrors have been known to last for up to an hour by which time most parents are getting very worried.  Fortunately, night terrors only affect 1-5% of children and usually happen about 1 to 3 hours after falling asleep so usually parents are awake.  Most children outgrow these terrors without needing any help.  if they continue for a long time, you should seek advice.